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A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron. “For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge.”

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first says, ‘Yes, I’m positive… ‘

– Tommy Cooper